Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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