i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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