mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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