don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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