I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
