yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The feeling are messing with the penis
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
