help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Randomize
