love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
