I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
