At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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