yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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