Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
