you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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