Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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