think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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