I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
