it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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