New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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