I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
