My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
