i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
