i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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