Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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