he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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