oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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