I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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