Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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