My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
