he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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