two words: eviction party
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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