Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
