i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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