i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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