At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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