Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
