actually, I'm a sock model
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
