What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
