When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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