He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
