Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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