Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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