garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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