If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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