There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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