she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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