i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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