Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
