i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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