You really coming over, don't trick.
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
