and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
